Today Jorja freaked out at dance. We had forgotten her shoes and she refused to go dance without them, eventhough another momma had a spare pair for her to use. This is not like Jorja, she loves to dance but in the last 3 weeks she has done this twice. I think the lead up to me going back to work and going back to work has been hardest on her.
She is used to being home with me. My maternity leave was the most beneficial to her. She had my attention during the day when the baby was asleep. She didn't have to get up early to go to the sitters. We did things on our own schedule.
Since going back to work I have noticed that her personality has changed. She is stressed for a little person. I notice this because she overreacts to situations more easily, she fights more with her sisters and she doesn't seem to play as much. Generally, I think she is tired (and maybe a little mad at me for going back to work)
Although she enjoys herself at the sitters, she still says on occasion that she would like to stay home. This doesn't make it any easier on me, but this entry is not about me ;)
So after she refused to dance tonight I loaded the kids in the van and headed home. When we arrived home, Jorja got a spank on her bum (please don't judge) and was sent to her room to get ready for bed. Once she settled in, I went up and had a little talk with her, found the missing shoes (which seemed to make her feel so much better) and put her to bed. Yes, she went to bed without any supper. She was so tired that she was asleep in minutes.
I feel awful that my working is affecting her so much. I know that after awhile she will adjust but it saddens me that she has to. Luckily, next week is February break so we get to spend the week at home together, cuddling on the couch and watching the Olympics. The downside to this is that the following weeks she will have to get used to going to the sitter's again... *sigh*.
SIDE NOTE: I tried to find a free blinkie that said "Momma Guilt" or something like that to put here... but I was surprised to find nothing of the sort. However, I did find this awesome article about Mom guilt and how to deal with it.
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It is so hard going back to work after all that time spent with them...and they are too young to understand why we have to do it. When I first sent Megan to the dayhome after being home with her for 3 years she "rebelled". She refused to eat or drink anything at the dayhome...even water. Often I would show up after she had been bawling on the couch for hours, hungry and miserable. It was a terrible time for both me and her...more so for her, but I felt very guilty. To help her adjust I started sending a special "mommy lunch" every day to the dayhome and having several talks with her at night about how this was something that mommy needed to do for our family. She figured it out soon enough and ironically, would get upset when she had to stay home instead of getting to go to the dayhome with her friends :o)
ReplyDeleteIt will take some time, but before you know it Jorja will adjust and be happy in her new routine!
Awe... thanks so much Stacey! That makes me feel so much better... Mommy snacks... good idea!
ReplyDeleteYou're such a great Mama Denise!!
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